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The 'renewing' Yarkon and the Cellcom family of morons

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Published by Tal Shalif on June 2nd, 2010
 

 

2010-05-21 15.18.57
 
I don't care about Cellcom, and they don't really care about me. But in addition, they also think I am an idiot. Actually, they think - with more than a little grain of justification - that we are all idiots.
 
With megalomaniac grandiosity and the grovelling cooperation of the city and other public bodies, Cellcom made their own the Yarkon Park and the streets of Tel Aviv with the sole purpose of self-promotion disguised as a philanthropic day of fun for the public. The key slogans used to promote the event have surely resulted for some of us in breakage of marriage and our personal relationships - no less!
 
 
But how are they to know I am indeed an idiot, after all, they don't know me personally? Some of you will ask. And what is this nonsense about "breakage of marriage"? Well, let's consider the main event slogan "The Picnic of the Largest Family in Israel". Or in other words, all Cellcom users are one family. Do you know it has been statistically proven that, in such a large family, about half of you are more stupid than average? I really hope your sexual partner owns a Pelephone or an Orange cellular device, because otherwise.. You make me sick.
 
 
 But even the lucky amongst us - those who were not nationalized into that big family of Cellcom incest committing morons - have you noticed the other slogan used for the event: "In the Renewing Yarkon River" and have you gullibly believed that: 
  1. Cellcom has been responsible at all for the rehabilitation of the Yarkon River? 
  2. Is the Yarkon really being rehabilitated, or is it just that more than a year has passed since the fire and resulting Hod Hasharon sewerage catastrophe? what significance is there to the quality of the wastewater released into the Yarkon as long as the infrastructure and plans for dealing with the next suwerage system failure do not exist?

 

A member of the Tel Aviv Rowing club claims to have spotted at the end of the day a Cellcom employee dumping the content of a fuel tank into the water of the "renewing Yarkon". If to judge by the amount of litter, oil and cigarette buts the Cellcom event organizers have left in the Yarkon and around the rowing club boat dock - they used it without authorization and in a negligent manner seriously risking damage to club equipment - Cellcom has the same environmental awareness as Japanese whale hunters.